Why 2018 Is Your Year!

First let me start by saying Happy Black History Month to all my kings and queens. May we continue to drip in honey, gold, and greatness. Amen.

Some of you may have been hella hyped for 2018 like “yesss this is going to be my year!” You were exuberant in the countdown on New Year’s Eve to start fresh. New mindset, better diet, smaller circle of people. You had it all planned out! Well 2018 hit and you started off strong but as the month progressed, that vitality slowly decreased and you’re already claiming 2019 to be your year “for sure this time.” Why look in 2019 when you still have 11 months to be great?

2016: The Cocoon  

Think back to how things were in 2016 for a moment. Where were you in life? Whether you were on top, not stopping or barely keeping your head above water, a feeling of wanting more constantly came up in your mind. More money. Higher expectations from friendships/relationships. Better living situation. Wherever you were, you just knew you could do better.

 

2017: The Caterpillar

2017 rolled around and you finally had an idea of what needed to happen.. you just weren’t sure how to get started. It may have been a battle of self-doubt where you became your own enemy with lack of reassurance that you WERE capable so you continued to wade the water. Staying where you were most comfortable seemed the easiest right? So what now?

 

2018: The Butterfly

So here we are in 2018 with a fist full of might, head from of visions, and a butt tired of being sat on all the time. It’s time to fly and make this ish a reality! You’ve had years to work up to this point so we’re kicking procrastination, self-doubt, depression, anxiety, and all of the naysayers where the sun doesn’t shine. 2018 is your year because:

-You made it to see 2018 (a lot of people didn’t)

-You made the first step that most haven’t ever made: Speaking the vision

-You have endured every obstacle and road block that has tried to stop you…but you overcame it. Why stop now? You’re superwoman.

You’re already ahead of the game. Remember to take each day by a time and watch those wings spread.

-Des

 

Make sure to check out next week’s post!

 

 

Why 9-5 Isn’t For Me

Why 9-5 isn't for me

 

I don’t know if it’s the feeling I get when I’m sitting in front of a hiring manager with the pressure to prove myself worthy enough for the position or the constant requirement to ask permission when I need to empty my bladder but whatever the feeling is, I have come to the conclusion that this whole 9-5 sha-bam isn’t something I plan on doing until retirement…it’s just not. This post isn’t to knock anyone who does enjoy their daytime job so please don’t get me wrong. I’m simply stating that it’s not for everyone including me and here’s why:

You’re too gifted.

God doesn’t give us gifts to go to waste and not put to use. He gives us gifts to bless others in whatever way we can whether that be through music, dance, writing, poetry, speech, etc. What God assigns to you, no man should interrupt as it is ordained by Him. If you’re in a space where you feel limited to using these gifts, get out. Put yourself in a situation where they’re not going to waste. Sitting in front of a computer screen for 8 hours a day may provide a paycheck but is is supporting your vision?

 

I’m no one’s slave.

I’ve worked enough long days and nights to understand how these jobs work and what they request and it’s not you calling in the morning of because you’re child is running a fever of 101 or you not being able to make in for your shift because you’re car is stalling on you. They don’t like it. I’ve also worked enough long days and nights to decide what I deem as priority. We break our necks, backs, and hips for a job while also putting our health, family, and well-being aside for a measly check. Think about this. In all honesty, if you were to pass away you’re job will be looking for a replacement the next week. Unfortunately, that’s the sad, likely truth. So remember to take care of yourself.

 

Being your own boss is just….better.

The freedom of making your own hours, setting your own pay rate, not being obligated to clock in and out, taking vacation whenever you feel like it? Sounds great doesn’t it? Well welcome to the life of an entrepreneur. These incentives are things that are very much deserved by  business owners all it’s challenging work but very rewarding. Since I was in grade school, I’ve been a leader by nature and it was very difficult to follow along with what everyone else was doing. As I’ve gotten older I believe the same mentality has followed me into the work place.When you have a boss attitude it can make working under someone else a struggle. If you’ve been reading this post thinking, “Wow, that’s me!”, then I’ve got good news for you…it’s possible to get things poppin’! The first step to reaching your dreams is to speak it into existence.  When you speak what you want to do and where you want to be,  you give yourself a verbal confirmation of your plans. Next write it down. You now have a visual plan. Lastly, make it a reality. Get out of that dead-end job and live sis. You’re worth so much more.

-Des

If you enjoyed this week’s post, tune in next week to learn why 2018 is going to be your year.

Bomb Girl Feature of the Week: Princess

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We’re back and we’re better! I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas break. Between keeping my sanity while Christmas shopping and attempting to transition into the vegetarian lifestyle per my mother’s request, I was able to FINALLY interview not only a very good friend of mine but also an amazing mom. She has some awesome advice on dating, self- care, and breastfeeding. Check it out!

 

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1.What advice would you offer to a single mom nervous about dating?
“You should first make sure he’s consistent within the relationship and then you can trust that he is consistent around your child. It’s easy to vibe with someone one-on-one but once your child enters the picture, things change. Pay attention. Personally, I’ve given myself the 8-month rule. Allow time to see how things go for the first 8 months of dating and that will allow you to determine if he’s ready to meet your child.”

 

2. What is something you reminded yourself of daily with dealing with motherhood?
“Patience, patience, patience. Patience is virtue. Being a young mother dealing with the turmoil and getting things in line is stressful enough but when you have a child to raise, sometimes it takes just breathing it in and out often!”

 

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3. What is something you want to teach your daughter about self-love and self-acceptance?

“Self-love is the best love. I don’t want to go a day without reminding her that she is beautiful because she is unique. No one is made like her and that reason alone is enough to love herself even more. She is uniquely made from her curls all the way down to her feet. Most importantly, she will know that affirmation is needed from no one.”

 

4.What was your experience with breastfeeding?
“Breastfeeding is one of the greatest gifts you can offer your child. It’s beyond healthy for not only the baby but the mother as well. They become less prone to infection while nursing while you lose the baby fat. It’s a win-win situation. However, it can be hard as you begin but personally I will say it gets easier. I enjoyed the experience beyond physical skin-to-skin. I felt her on a spiritual level and I know she felt me as well.”

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5. What are some self-care remedies you enjoy?
“I talk to God on a daily not only for peace of mind but also affirmation. When you’re a mother, it’s hard to have you time. I try to keep myself up in every aspect when possible whether that be getting my nails done once a month, doing my makeup, going shopping, or just a night out with friends. We sometimes forget who we are because we’re so tied up being mothers. It’s okay to have a friendly reminder now and then.”

 

Such a beautiful soul with some pure, honest advice. This is the reason I love doing these segments. It’s always a joy to hear from our queens. If there is any suggestions or recommendations for what you all would like to see in the future, let me know! Please don’t forget to share. Much love!

 

Journey to Self-Love: Body Edition

I always have people come to me for advice on loosing baby weight or just loosing weight in general and of course I’m always happy to share my experience. Along with sharing my experience I like to highlight my experience because not everyone’s body reacts the same to certain techniques so please keep this in mind.

 

Breasts are the best

Let’s just start off with the main contribution to the weight loss which was breast-feeding. I strongly encourage this to any new or expecting mothers. Aside from it being liquid gold packed with antibiotics to help your baby fight off infections and bacteria, reducing the risk of all allergies, asthma, ear infections, and respiratory illnesses, it also is working for your good as well. During breastfeeding the hormone oxytocin is released which helps tightens the cervix. I exclusively breastfed for seven glorious months  (I wish I would’ve continued longer) and my stomach went down so much, you couldn’t even tell I had a baby (I was told). Plus it was definitely quick and convenient.

 

Good diet per say

Let’s be honest. Unless you’re a healthy, vegan, gym-junkie fanatic, healthy eating can be a challenge especially when you’re like me who just needs something quick. My diet was and is still a working progress. Meal-prep is a great way to maintain your portion and make sure you’re eating all of the good stuff. On a weekly basis when preparing your meals make sure that you include at least one veggie, protein, and grain and plenty of water. If you would like to see a feature on my meal prep ideas, please comment below. It took me cutting out the soda and heavily sugared drinks and fast food to realize that was what was contributing to the extra weight. Take a moment to think about your guilty pleasure. Okay now think about the difference it would make it you reduced your intake on it. Bingo.

 

Consistent Work-Outs

Simple work outs is all it takes. As a mom, I don’t always have the time to make it to the gym so I had to get creative with my at home workouts which sometimes includes my Hazzy. Sit-ups and bicycles are my favorite when working on my midsection. Find a cushioned area on the floor or even in your bed and make it a habit to do at least 3 sets of 20 a night. Squats and leg lifts are also beneficial if your main focus is your butt and thighs. Try challenging yourself to 25 squats every time you go to the restroom. I have found these simple work-outs to be beneficial for myself as a busy mom and hold me off until I have time to make it to the gym. Give them a try and see the difference.

Body acceptance is not only skin deep. It’s also accepting yourself mentally too but when you feel good on the outside it reflects on the inside as well.

Bomb Girl Feature of the Week: Tiedrika

One of the most beautiful things about motherhood is the diversity, the different walks of lives, and the different women to tell their story. This week we shine a light on a young lady who made a big transition into becoming Jaden’s mommy. Here’s her story.

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  1. What advice would you provide to a first time mom who may be struggling with body acceptance after having her baby?

Basically just love yourself the way that you are. Coming from daily exercise and volleyball practice to weight gain and stretch marks on my stomach and thighs, it was a big change. I soon came to the realization that it would never be the same again, but there was a great outcome out of it. I now have a beautiful son. You have to understand that you actually carried a child for nine months so every stretch mark has a story.

 

2.  What was your experience with transitioning from college life to becoming a mommy?

The transition was a big one. I went from being able to do whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it to basing my entire schedule around my child. I sleep when he sleeps and I eat when he eats. It’s no longer get up and go. I became so accustomed to the sports life and now I’m always at home. I no longer have the same worries a college kid would have. Now I have other concerns like “who is going to watch my baby while I’m at work?” My advice to a new mother is to remember that it is no longer about you anymore. Enjoy every moment with your child because those are moments you can not get back.

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3. Did you find breastfeeding to be difficult?

I truly enjoyed it for the short time I did. It was difficult because he wouldn’t latch which resorted in me using a nipple shield. The only thing I found uncomfortable was when my breasts became really engorged. I would take a hot shower hoping that it would soothe the pain. It was also difficult to breastfeed when I was away from him. Overall, I loved it and feel like that is the best thing for him. I will began breastfeeding again very soon.

 

4. How did you cope with stress from other none-pregnancy related issues?

Stress is not even the word to describe how my pregnancy was. It literally went left and if I had the chance to go back, I wouldn’t. That is literally how stressed I was. The pressure from having to drop out of school, working two jobs, and having his father away still in school took a huge toll on me. On top of that, I endured a lot of negativity from everyone who was around me. Money wise, I didn’t experience a big issue. As I began going to parenting classes, it prepared me financially so that I would have all the essentials that he needed when he arrived.

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5. What are a few self care tips you would recommend after your baby is born?

Eating right and keeping yourself up is very important even when you have a child to care for, don’t forget about yourself. If you’re not in good condition physically, if can affect day to day with having to take care of a newborn. Along with exercise comes confidence.

Some great advice has come from this new mom! Tune in next week as we talk to another Bomb Girl about motherhood. Thank you everyone. Much love.

A message for the ‘fatherless’ daughters and ‘daughterless’ fathers

What would you trade your worth for? I don’t know a person in the world who would trade their shiny pennies for wooden nickels so why is it that we trade our worth for something not of it’s equivalence? In other words, as a woman we don’t have to give ourselves up so easy and I mean that in every aspect whether it be physically, mentally, or sexually. We tend to shy away from this topic too often but it’s time for it to be addressed.

I’m sure we can all say that in high school, we all knew about “that girl”. You can take it in whichever context that you prefer but the emphasis on ‘that’ should explain where I’m going with this. She was never taught love so fell for whatever she thought it was supposed to be. If I’m speaking to that girl or you know this girl, please make a note of this: You are worth gold. You are valuable beyond your understanding. Do we leave our diamonds and rubies out for public eye just for anyone to take? So why don’t we you treat yourself as you would treat a jewel? I can name a few reasons why and if you can vouch for atleast one, it’s time for some self evaluation.

1. Trying to fill the void of low self-esteem and brokenness by being willing to do anything and settle for anyone.
2. You know the relationship is unhealthy but he ‘loves you and doesn’t mean to be that way’.
3. Doesn’t feel good enough and struggles with self esteem. Self love doesn’t come easy so you need a guy to reinsure you.
4. Never had a role model to show how a man should you. Verbal and physical abuse becomes a normality.

Our generation is on repeat. Our young men never were taught how to be a man because the man wasn’t there. They then have to resort in looking other places for guidance. Then comes the girl who is impregnated by this same young man. Mind you, he doesn’t know how to be a father, never had a father, and never wanted to be one. The girl never grew up knowing the expectations that I man should uphold as a father so what do we have here? Repetition.

The proven fact that fathers play a big role in a way a girl views herself and builds her self-esteem is what needs to be understood. You will never know your self worth until the decision is made that control from others will no longer be tolerated. For many woman it can be a learning process and it’s not overnight and that’s okay but when the moment comes where your inner and outer beauty is reborn, you won’t ever forget it.

 

Stop Wadin’ The Water

What’s stopping you?

That is the question I want you stop and ask yourself before you proceed with this article. What has really given you the inability to do what you said you would do? Fear? Fear of unforeseen results? Rejection? Fear of knowing? Maybe it’s even procrastination. You don’t know where to begin and when you do begin, will you be able to maintain it. We can all say why we haven’t done this or started that, but ask yourself a different question?

Where would you be right now if you put those ideas to work back then? The time you took to constantly put it off or fabricate excuses could’ve been the time you used to make it happen, whatever that may be. I’ll use a very literal example for myself which is this blog. I can not begin to tell you how many ideas I came up with that I continued to put off for months due to procrastination. When you sit somewhere for so long, you begin to get lazy. There comes a time when you have to realize that comfortability is only knee deep when your vision may be oceans wide.

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So are you going to continue to wade through the waters you’re “familiar with”? That is the question to be answered at the end of the day. You have the ability but it’s going to take some activation. Limitation is not an option when you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe. So while you’re in those deep waters undertaking all of the hard blows and constant flow of water coming, equal amount of effort is needed to breathe. When thinking about what limits you, (finances, time, doubt) a sense of drive has to override everything.

Don’t get lazy.
Don’t get comfortable.
Comfortability doesn’t have to remain perpetual.