Why 2018 Is Your Year!

First let me start by saying Happy Black History Month to all my kings and queens. May we continue to drip in honey, gold, and greatness. Amen.

Some of you may have been hella hyped for 2018 like “yesss this is going to be my year!” You were exuberant in the countdown on New Year’s Eve to start fresh. New mindset, better diet, smaller circle of people. You had it all planned out! Well 2018 hit and you started off strong but as the month progressed, that vitality slowly decreased and you’re already claiming 2019 to be your year “for sure this time.” Why look in 2019 when you still have 11 months to be great?

2016: The Cocoon  

Think back to how things were in 2016 for a moment. Where were you in life? Whether you were on top, not stopping or barely keeping your head above water, a feeling of wanting more constantly came up in your mind. More money. Higher expectations from friendships/relationships. Better living situation. Wherever you were, you just knew you could do better.

 

2017: The Caterpillar

2017 rolled around and you finally had an idea of what needed to happen.. you just weren’t sure how to get started. It may have been a battle of self-doubt where you became your own enemy with lack of reassurance that you WERE capable so you continued to wade the water. Staying where you were most comfortable seemed the easiest right? So what now?

 

2018: The Butterfly

So here we are in 2018 with a fist full of might, head from of visions, and a butt tired of being sat on all the time. It’s time to fly and make this ish a reality! You’ve had years to work up to this point so we’re kicking procrastination, self-doubt, depression, anxiety, and all of the naysayers where the sun doesn’t shine. 2018 is your year because:

-You made it to see 2018 (a lot of people didn’t)

-You made the first step that most haven’t ever made: Speaking the vision

-You have endured every obstacle and road block that has tried to stop you…but you overcame it. Why stop now? You’re superwoman.

You’re already ahead of the game. Remember to take each day by a time and watch those wings spread.

-Des

 

Make sure to check out next week’s post!

 

 

Why 9-5 Isn’t For Me

Why 9-5 isn't for me

 

I don’t know if it’s the feeling I get when I’m sitting in front of a hiring manager with the pressure to prove myself worthy enough for the position or the constant requirement to ask permission when I need to empty my bladder but whatever the feeling is, I have come to the conclusion that this whole 9-5 sha-bam isn’t something I plan on doing until retirement…it’s just not. This post isn’t to knock anyone who does enjoy their daytime job so please don’t get me wrong. I’m simply stating that it’s not for everyone including me and here’s why:

You’re too gifted.

God doesn’t give us gifts to go to waste and not put to use. He gives us gifts to bless others in whatever way we can whether that be through music, dance, writing, poetry, speech, etc. What God assigns to you, no man should interrupt as it is ordained by Him. If you’re in a space where you feel limited to using these gifts, get out. Put yourself in a situation where they’re not going to waste. Sitting in front of a computer screen for 8 hours a day may provide a paycheck but is is supporting your vision?

 

I’m no one’s slave.

I’ve worked enough long days and nights to understand how these jobs work and what they request and it’s not you calling in the morning of because you’re child is running a fever of 101 or you not being able to make in for your shift because you’re car is stalling on you. They don’t like it. I’ve also worked enough long days and nights to decide what I deem as priority. We break our necks, backs, and hips for a job while also putting our health, family, and well-being aside for a measly check. Think about this. In all honesty, if you were to pass away you’re job will be looking for a replacement the next week. Unfortunately, that’s the sad, likely truth. So remember to take care of yourself.

 

Being your own boss is just….better.

The freedom of making your own hours, setting your own pay rate, not being obligated to clock in and out, taking vacation whenever you feel like it? Sounds great doesn’t it? Well welcome to the life of an entrepreneur. These incentives are things that are very much deserved by  business owners all it’s challenging work but very rewarding. Since I was in grade school, I’ve been a leader by nature and it was very difficult to follow along with what everyone else was doing. As I’ve gotten older I believe the same mentality has followed me into the work place.When you have a boss attitude it can make working under someone else a struggle. If you’ve been reading this post thinking, “Wow, that’s me!”, then I’ve got good news for you…it’s possible to get things poppin’! The first step to reaching your dreams is to speak it into existence.  When you speak what you want to do and where you want to be,  you give yourself a verbal confirmation of your plans. Next write it down. You now have a visual plan. Lastly, make it a reality. Get out of that dead-end job and live sis. You’re worth so much more.

-Des

If you enjoyed this week’s post, tune in next week to learn why 2018 is going to be your year.

Bomb Girl Feature of the Week: Princess

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We’re back and we’re better! I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas break. Between keeping my sanity while Christmas shopping and attempting to transition into the vegetarian lifestyle per my mother’s request, I was able to FINALLY interview not only a very good friend of mine but also an amazing mom. She has some awesome advice on dating, self- care, and breastfeeding. Check it out!

 

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1.What advice would you offer to a single mom nervous about dating?
“You should first make sure he’s consistent within the relationship and then you can trust that he is consistent around your child. It’s easy to vibe with someone one-on-one but once your child enters the picture, things change. Pay attention. Personally, I’ve given myself the 8-month rule. Allow time to see how things go for the first 8 months of dating and that will allow you to determine if he’s ready to meet your child.”

 

2. What is something you reminded yourself of daily with dealing with motherhood?
“Patience, patience, patience. Patience is virtue. Being a young mother dealing with the turmoil and getting things in line is stressful enough but when you have a child to raise, sometimes it takes just breathing it in and out often!”

 

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3. What is something you want to teach your daughter about self-love and self-acceptance?

“Self-love is the best love. I don’t want to go a day without reminding her that she is beautiful because she is unique. No one is made like her and that reason alone is enough to love herself even more. She is uniquely made from her curls all the way down to her feet. Most importantly, she will know that affirmation is needed from no one.”

 

4.What was your experience with breastfeeding?
“Breastfeeding is one of the greatest gifts you can offer your child. It’s beyond healthy for not only the baby but the mother as well. They become less prone to infection while nursing while you lose the baby fat. It’s a win-win situation. However, it can be hard as you begin but personally I will say it gets easier. I enjoyed the experience beyond physical skin-to-skin. I felt her on a spiritual level and I know she felt me as well.”

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5. What are some self-care remedies you enjoy?
“I talk to God on a daily not only for peace of mind but also affirmation. When you’re a mother, it’s hard to have you time. I try to keep myself up in every aspect when possible whether that be getting my nails done once a month, doing my makeup, going shopping, or just a night out with friends. We sometimes forget who we are because we’re so tied up being mothers. It’s okay to have a friendly reminder now and then.”

 

Such a beautiful soul with some pure, honest advice. This is the reason I love doing these segments. It’s always a joy to hear from our queens. If there is any suggestions or recommendations for what you all would like to see in the future, let me know! Please don’t forget to share. Much love!

 

A message for the ‘fatherless’ daughters and ‘daughterless’ fathers

What would you trade your worth for? I don’t know a person in the world who would trade their shiny pennies for wooden nickels so why is it that we trade our worth for something not of it’s equivalence? In other words, as a woman we don’t have to give ourselves up so easy and I mean that in every aspect whether it be physically, mentally, or sexually. We tend to shy away from this topic too often but it’s time for it to be addressed.

I’m sure we can all say that in high school, we all knew about “that girl”. You can take it in whichever context that you prefer but the emphasis on ‘that’ should explain where I’m going with this. She was never taught love so fell for whatever she thought it was supposed to be. If I’m speaking to that girl or you know this girl, please make a note of this: You are worth gold. You are valuable beyond your understanding. Do we leave our diamonds and rubies out for public eye just for anyone to take? So why don’t we you treat yourself as you would treat a jewel? I can name a few reasons why and if you can vouch for atleast one, it’s time for some self evaluation.

1. Trying to fill the void of low self-esteem and brokenness by being willing to do anything and settle for anyone.
2. You know the relationship is unhealthy but he ‘loves you and doesn’t mean to be that way’.
3. Doesn’t feel good enough and struggles with self esteem. Self love doesn’t come easy so you need a guy to reinsure you.
4. Never had a role model to show how a man should you. Verbal and physical abuse becomes a normality.

Our generation is on repeat. Our young men never were taught how to be a man because the man wasn’t there. They then have to resort in looking other places for guidance. Then comes the girl who is impregnated by this same young man. Mind you, he doesn’t know how to be a father, never had a father, and never wanted to be one. The girl never grew up knowing the expectations that I man should uphold as a father so what do we have here? Repetition.

The proven fact that fathers play a big role in a way a girl views herself and builds her self-esteem is what needs to be understood. You will never know your self worth until the decision is made that control from others will no longer be tolerated. For many woman it can be a learning process and it’s not overnight and that’s okay but when the moment comes where your inner and outer beauty is reborn, you won’t ever forget it.

 

Stop Wadin’ The Water

What’s stopping you?

That is the question I want you stop and ask yourself before you proceed with this article. What has really given you the inability to do what you said you would do? Fear? Fear of unforeseen results? Rejection? Fear of knowing? Maybe it’s even procrastination. You don’t know where to begin and when you do begin, will you be able to maintain it. We can all say why we haven’t done this or started that, but ask yourself a different question?

Where would you be right now if you put those ideas to work back then? The time you took to constantly put it off or fabricate excuses could’ve been the time you used to make it happen, whatever that may be. I’ll use a very literal example for myself which is this blog. I can not begin to tell you how many ideas I came up with that I continued to put off for months due to procrastination. When you sit somewhere for so long, you begin to get lazy. There comes a time when you have to realize that comfortability is only knee deep when your vision may be oceans wide.

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So are you going to continue to wade through the waters you’re “familiar with”? That is the question to be answered at the end of the day. You have the ability but it’s going to take some activation. Limitation is not an option when you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe. So while you’re in those deep waters undertaking all of the hard blows and constant flow of water coming, equal amount of effort is needed to breathe. When thinking about what limits you, (finances, time, doubt) a sense of drive has to override everything.

Don’t get lazy.
Don’t get comfortable.
Comfortability doesn’t have to remain perpetual.

Live Life Consciously Unconscious

To all my free spirits and do-ers, I applaud you. I didn’t use to be that person. Matter of fact, I wish I became that person earlier. I was a “People Pleaser” as my dad would call me. I was so tied up on people’s opinion,  doing things according to how she felt or what he would say, scared af of what they would think of me if I did this, or wore that, or let my nappy fro out (this was middle school and high school by the way). I started to even wonder who I really was and what did I really like. I became timid to even stand up for myself. I was losing myself in the worst way possible. Ha, people pleaser. That I was indeed. Let me just say kids are mean. Bullying is not always physical. It can very well be on mental terms as well. I went to school walking on egg shells, came home and walked on some more, it was a nightmare.

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That’s where the problem lies. We’re too concerned about what so and so thinks, the same exact so and so who has their own issues and flaws that they completely bypass to skip on over and tug on yours. Like the good ol’ book says “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”. Everyone is so backwards these days, I just don’t get it. So here’s what I say: Forget an opinion, disregard the negativity, and do you baby girl. To finally break free, you just have to accept the fact that no matter what you do there’s always someone in the background who feels the need to speak on it. So you might as well do what makes you happy, am I right?